It’s been exactly two years, one month, five days, and a few hours since we left home. And by home, I mean the only place in the last 17 years where we’ve felt settled and at peace. One of the first questions I plan to ask God after walking through those pearly gates, is, “why did you tell us to go home when we were already there?” You see, when we left for Uganda in 2018, our plan was to die there. Yet somehow, we now find ourselves back where we started.

We’ve spent a lot (probably way too much) of time the last two years trying to make sense of our abrupt departure from Uganda. We’ve spent probably just about as much time trying to figure out what to do next. In the beginning we tried to manufacture a triumphant return to our East African home. We pretended for several months that everything was alright with the Morrisons, and that we’d be back to eating beans, rice, and chapati in no time. But as the months turned into a year, we were nowhere closer to getting back home than we were the day we stepped off the plane in Tennessee. As a matter of fact, we were right back where we were early on in our marriage. Drowning in debt and utterly confused about which direction we should be going.

I’ll fast forward quite a bit and skip the unexpected move to Oklahoma, miraculously buying a house without having a job, getting so deeply in debt we were close to losing everything, having a nervous breakdown because of said debt, getting a great job finally, raising chickens, having a chicken funeral one Saturday morning… and you’re now mostly caught up. A lot has happened in the last year and a half. Some of it has been good, and some of it has been not so good. Some of it might have been inspirational to you, and some of it might have caused you to pray for us real hard. And you know, that’s the thing right there. None of you, other than our praying parents and maybe a close friend or two, even knew what was really going on with the Morrisons the last two years. We’ve been in hiding.

We’ve been hiding from family, friends, pastors, and mentors. We’ve been hiding from our amazing supporters. We’ve been hiding from all the questions about Uganda. We’ve been hiding from having to explain over and over and over and over why we left and if/when we’re going back. And we’ve been hiding from ourselves. It took us almost two years to finally realize it, but we were hiding from our true feelings about this whole situation.

Have you ever been too depressed to grieve? I know that sounds weird, so let me (try to) explain further. Has the weight of losing someone or something been so heavy on you that you can’t even process that you’ve lost someone/thing? I know the fourth stage of the five stages of grief is depression, however, I believe it is entirely possible to skip the denial, anger, and bargaining stages and go straight to depression if you’re too overwhelmed to process the loss. Especially when it takes you several months to even realize that you’ve lost something.

You might be thinking, “what exactly did you lose, Jared?” Was it the extreme heat and constant barrage of insects, some of which could kill you? Or was it the traffic that was so chaotic it makes Atlanta’s and Los Angeles’s highways seem like wide-open country backroads? Or maybe it’s all the stress caused by deceitful people trying to take advantage of you every time you turn around? No, it has to be the never-ending sickness and fatigue from all the parasites and bacteria found on everything!? While all of that sounds amazing right now (lol), that wasn’t what I lost.

I lost my purpose.

One of the definitions of purpose is; a person’s sense of resolve or determination. Despite all those *fun* traits of Uganda listed above, I was driven and determined to meet the needs of and share Jesus with the Ugandan people, especially the vulnerable children we worked with. The work was meaningful and fulfilling. I felt like I was finally working toward something that mattered in light of eternity. We had developed sweet relationships with so many amazing Ugandans. They accepted and loved us for who we were and we accepted and loved them for who they were. We were doing life with them. We were making disciples! They saw us at our best and at our worst, and that didn’t change the relationships at all. It’s what we dreamed and prayed about for years. We were finally there! And then we weren’t.

So, for almost two years now, I’ve been depressed and didn’t really know it. Once I realized I was depressed and why I was depressed, I was able to do some grieving. I’ve grieved alone. Kimberly and I have grieved as a couple. And we’ve started to grieve a little as a family. When Kimberly and I finally realized what was going on in our hearts, it was like a lightbulb came on and shed some light on the fact that our kids never really got closure on our time in Uganda. Their fragile little lives had been uprooted and replanted 8,000 miles away from everything they had ever known, but they were thriving. It wasn’t easy for them over there, but they had adapted, climatized, and were loving life in The Pearl of Africa. Then seemingly overnight, after throwing a few things in a little suitcase, they were back in their home country, but not in their home. They too were confused, sad, and depressed and didn’t really know it.

The kids and Kimberly haven’t been back to Uganda since. I had the great displeasure of traveling back home eight months after our abrupt departure to sell off or give away almost all of our stuff, and then pack up what little was left to bring it back to my parents’ basement, where we were living at the time. Now that we have worked through the depression and some of the grief, we believe it is time for us to have a do over on the whole departure from Uganda thing. We need to go back home and then leave the right way. We’ll have more to say about that in the coming months. Stay tuned…

So where do we go from here? Well, we’re going to just be. Be58 was born out of our God-given desire to be a family on mission and be present wherever we are. We don’t know exactly what that looks like from day to day, but as long as we are present wherever we are, genuinely love everyone along the way, and obey when we hear from Him, everything will be alright. We’re also ready to let everyone back into our crazy and fun life. We realize that by finally airing out our dirty laundry, we’re committing to ourselves and our supporters that we’re moving forward on the mission that God has given our family. It’s been way too easy to hide out for a while and not let anyone jump on the roller coaster ride with us. We know God designed us to be in community with like-minded believers, and we’ve been foolishly avoiding it. It’s time for the world to be reintroduced to our crazy life, crazy kids, and our passion for loving God and loving people.

We’re also exploring a partnership with our Ugandan brother, Patrick, and his ministry in the village we lived in for almost two years. The pandemic has left so many Ugandan families in desperate need, and that has led to children dropping out of school and having even less access to food and medicine than before the pandemic started. We’ll also have more to say on that in the coming months.

If you’ve made it this far, you’re probably wondering, “what are they going to ask me for now?” (insert eye roll lol) All we’re asking for right now is prayer. Please pray for Levi, Gideon, Judah, Moriah, and Josiah. Pray for continued healing in their hearts and increased passion to love God and love people. Pray that Kimberly and I can love and lead them well as we continue to be a family on mission. And lastly, pray for the people of Uganda and the rest of the world. Pray that God will show every believer—young and old, rich and poor—that we can use whatever resources we have to show His love to those around us.

Much love,

Jared, Kimberly, and the rest of the Circus

-by Kimberly Morrison

Sunday is market day in our little village, and that means our usual route to the highway is blocked by vendors setting up their booths, delivery trucks dropping off product, and hundreds of busy shoppers buying their weekly groceries. That means we get to take the “back way”if we leave the house. “Bumpiest way” would be more fitting, but I digress.

We were on our way to church one morning, taking the back way. We recently had a huge rain storm because of the cyclone that hit Malawi, and our normally bumpy roads were extra “rip the bottom off your vehicle and send you to the chiropractor” that day, so we were being tossed about like rag dolls. We were hitting our heads on the windows, on the roof of the van, and on each other. The bumps were even more special in the back of the van where I was sitting and attempting to brush and braid Moriah’s hair. Moriah was bracing herself for the jolts and jars of the bumpy ride with a gleeful grin on her face and entertaining herself with her signature creepy but cute diabolical giggle.

“Dis is fun mom!!! Don’t you fink dis is fun?!” She exclaimed. I was holding one of her hair ties in my lips while tensing up from head to toe to brace myself, so when I didn’t answer immediately, she added, “well, I fink dis is fun, because I’m a little kid!”

That’s when it hit me. Not a flying object projected from the impact of a bump, but how she could be so happy and blissfully unaware as we went dangerously off-roading through the village.

She knew she was safe with her hero, daddy, at the wheel. Knowing her daddy was up front navigating the dangerous and bumpy road made her free to enjoy the experience and find the adventure in it.

As children of God, shouldn’t we be even more so free to enjoy the experience and find the adventure in all things, knowing that our Perfect Father is at the proverbial wheel guiding our lives?

The times in my life when I experience the most fear and anxiety are the times when I’m at the wheel driving my own desires, navigating my own plans, and trying to dodge the bumps and potholes on my own. And the times I experience the most peace, joy, and rest are when I allow Father God to be at the wheel.

Honestly, if I had been able to answer Moriah, I would have made it abundantly clear that I didn’t find it as fun as she did. I prefer the comfort of a smoothly paved road. And being a taller person, I was able to see some of the scary bumps, mudholes, and crevices we were driving through. I was honestly concerned that we were going to get stuck or tear up the bottom of our van. I was too focused on staying perfectly still and stable in my seat, and worried about what might happen to us or the van to see the fun and adventure in the situation. Moriah, in her pink, prissy, and sheltered life, has never experienced insurmountable tragedy. She knows her daddy takes good care of us and she doesn’t have to worry about the details. Her job is to have fun and listen for instructions.

I love Matthew 18:3; “unless you turn and become like children you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Growing up we were taught that passage meant in order to go to heaven, you have to be innocent, pure, or blameless. I’m learning more and more every day, however, that Jesus was telling us become more dependent on Father God and less dependent on ourselves. He’s telling us to become more blissfully unaware of the “what ifs” and to trust in our perfect Father so much that we can find joy and adventure in our everyday lives.

Oh how I long to be more like Moriah. Fearless and full of joy, and finding the adventure in every moment. Forsaking my comforts and fears to rest in the assurance that my Daddy is at the wheel and not shrinking back from the unknown. I fink dat will be fun.

One morning recently, we had no water in the house, and we’d actually had no water or very low water pressure for several days. It was becoming very frustrating, especially for Jared, who works so hard to try and make everything perfect for us. It also happened to be one of our Luganda language class mornings, which made things even more stressful.

Our teacher, Amelia, arrived promptly at 9:00am and I explained to her that Jared would be late to class because he was working with the plumber to resolve the water problems. Amelia loves teaching Luganda, but loves teaching us about Ugandan culture even more.

Since we were having (what we thought was) a water crisis, she took some time to give me some cultural insight into how water is viewed in Uganda. The most common phrase about water in Luganda is, “bulamu be amazzi,” which is translated “water is life.” In Uganda, many people walk miles every day to reach the nearest water source and then carry home one or two extremely heavy 20-liter jerry cans of water. They also know how to make that water last as long as possible.

As soon as Amelia spoke that phrase, “water is life” in the midst of our perceived water crisis, it hit me like a brick to the face (tis the season for Home Alone references=). Oh, how often we satisfy our spiritual thirst with lesser things because we’ve never really been desperate for living water, and in turn, desperate for The One who gives it.

In Uganda, water is literally life. Hundreds of people die daily because of the lack of clean drinking water and the prevalence of water-borne diseases. 

Many Ugandans in the slums and villages are desperate for clean, life-giving water. They do whatever it takes to get it and can make what little they do get last for days. However, in the states, it’s just another thing we drink. It’s difficult for us Western Christians, with our endless comforts and conveniences, to truly realize our desperate need for living water, and The One who gives it.

In our home we’ve been asking ourselves some questions about this lately and wanted to challenge you to ask yourself also:

• Am I spiritually dehydrated?
• Is He just another thing I drink when I run out of soda, sweet tea, or anything really that distracts me, or is He my number one thirst quencher? 
• Do I truly know how desperately I need this living water? 
• Do I do whatever it takes daily to get my spiritual refreshment?
• Am I so spiritually hydrated that I can make it through a few dry days every once in a while?

…Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. -John 4:13-14

“Follow Daddy!” – two words I exclaim with what seems like every other breath as we adventure on the road, through airports and now across the world.

The kids don’t always know where we’re going, how we’re getting there or why we’re even going, but they know we will always feed them, always keep them safe and as long as they follow Daddy, everything will be alright.

Somehow, I always end up in the back of the pack with the short-legged ones, making sure no one gets left behind.

The two littles have a hard time keeping up with the sibling in front of them, much less Daddy, and tend to gradually drift out of line and slow to a snail’s pace as new and interesting things grab their attention. Many times, I also inherit their back packs or suitcases because “they’re just too heavy for arms!” Our oldest three, however, know the drill and know that if we can just keep pace with Daddy, we’ll get to our destination safely and efficiently.

The older three also tend to walk beside Daddy instead of behind him. Because they’ve spent so much time walking with him, they can almost anticipate his next move.

The two that read can sometimes spot our next move at the same time as Daddy and they get so excited and proud when Daddy confirms that they’re on the right track. Every once in a while, though, from my spot in the back, I can hear Jared telling them, “Boys, slow down and don’t get ahead of me!”

A spiritual parallel hit me as we were traipsing through the airport following Daddy on our biggest adventure to date:

It is so easy sometimes to lose pace with Daddy God and be distracted by new and interesting things that pale in comparison to Him. 

And think about how blessed we are to have the Holy Spirit bringing up the rear gently and sweetly whispering encouragement. “Just follow Daddy! Keep your eyes on Him. We’re almost there!” As we catch Daddy God’s vision and love for the world and mature as sons and daughters, we start to walk WITH Him, instead of behind Him. And oh, how gracious and kind Jesus is to help with our baggage when it’s too much for our little arms to carry.

So just like our kids, we sometimes don’t know where we’re going, how we’re getting there or why we’re even going, but we know that Daddy God will always feed us, always keep us safe and as long as we walk with Him, everything will be alright.

Since we are finally taking off for Uganda, we want to answer some questions we’ve been getting from folks recently. 

We LOVE chatting with you all and answering your questions about this crazy adventure, so keep them coming!

Be sure and read to the end to get the answer to the most frequently asked question, and if you have a question that isn’t answered here, reply to this email or find us on social media and ask away.

Question: How long will you be gone?

Answer: Until God tells us to move on. We plan to come home for a couple months to rest, visit family and friends, and raise more support after 2 years, however, we have every intention of returning to Uganda after that to continue serving orphaned and vulnerable kids.

Question: Do you have to get visas to live in Uganda?

Answer: Yes. Jared has been approved for a 3-year work permit and Kimberly and the kiddos will be issued 3-year entry passes based on Jared’s work permit.

Question: How long does it take to get to Uganda?

Answer: Between 1 to 2 days, depending on the airline and itinerary. The total travel time is 25 hours including layovers.

Question: How are you getting all your stuff to Uganda?

Answer: Back in April, we either sold or gave away all of our furniture and items we wouldn’t need in Uganda. That left us with 20 large totes (pictured below) of our clothes, toys, homeschool materials, and other personal items we didn’t want to part with. Those will fly with us as checked luggage since we get 3 free checked items each.

Question: What will you do for furniture in Uganda?

Answer: Fortunately, we have a cultural insider, Patrick, who has been preparing our home since early this year. He has helped us purchase, and set up almost all our furniture, so we’ll arrive to a cozy, mostly furnished home.

Question: Did you all have to get a bunch of shots?

Answer: Yes, we sure did!

Question: Will we be able to communicate with you after you move?

Answer: Yes! We will have internet in our home and will be able to communicate via social media, Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp, and (for those with iPhones) iMessage and Facetime. Once we get settled and start our phone service there, we’ll give everyone our new phone numbers so you can call or message us on WhatsApp. If you don’t already have WhatsApp and want to be able to call us in Uganda, go ahead and download it on your phone’s app store. Also, we’ll still send our regular monthly newsletter to keep everyone updated on what’s going on in our lives.

Question: When can we come visit you?

Answer: Few things will bring us more joy than to have our family and friends visit us in Uganda! However, we respectfully ask that anyone who wants to visit please wait until we’ve had adequate time to settle in and adjust to Ugandan life. If you are seriously interested in visiting in the future, please let us know well in advance so we can plan a visit that will be both meaningful and rewarding for you and the Ugandans we will be working with.

And … The Most Frequently Asked Question:

Question: Why are you taking your 5 small children to live in a developing country?!!!

Answer: This is a very valid question, and we are always careful to answer it in a humble and loving way.

To be honest, we have asked ourselves this question many times. Every time we entertain the question though, we ultimately come to the same conclusion as to why we’re asking ourselves this. We believe FEAR is ultimately at the root of the question. Our fear for their safety, health, emotional well-being, education, etc. all roll up into this one question.

Recently though, we’ve come to realize that Father God loves our children infinitely more than we do. And He, without a doubt, called our family to GO. So many details, events, financial blessings, and confirmations have occurred that completely defy all human (or Western Church) logic. Things that seem illogical and impractical to us humans, are the very things God often uses to position us for kingdom purposes.

For us to say no to what/where He is calling us to out of fear of the unknown is to say yes to letting fear write our story. God is love, right? (I John 4:8) There is no fear in love and when you allow love to write your story, there is no limit to what He can do through you. And that’s where we want to be – right in the center of His love.

For several years, one of our sons had a big fear of getting water in his eyes, nose, or ears. Bath time was like being waterboarded for him! He would happily play and splash in the bathwater until it came time to wash his hair. There are no words to describe how panicked and unreasonable he would get at that point.

The same fear also kept him from enjoying going to the pool, lake, or ocean. However, it seemed something about the water was always calling to him. After a few years passed, whenever we were at the pool or beach, we began to notice him starting to go deeper and deeper in the water on his own. He would get knocked down or inhale water, but something about the deep end of the pool or the ocean beyond the break of the waves kept drawing him in and he was determined to find out what it was.

Very quietly he would observe how others swam and try to copy their techniques. He was still afraid, but he was doing it! If Jared or I tried to coach him or give him instruction on how to swim, he would immediately shut down and revert back to being completely afraid. He knew that he alone needed to stare down that fear and ultimately conquer it.

He eventually did conquer that fear and is now our best and most adventurous swimmer! He actually scares Jared and I sometimes with the things he does or tries in the pool.

He still gets a little anxious and asks a ton of questions to help ease his mind about the body of water he’s about to jump into, but any anxiety he has instantly vanishes as soon as he sees the pool, lake, or ocean. In that moment he turns into this giddy, confident, smack-talking, and extroverted kid that we hardly ever get to see.

Over the last 8 years, we’ve felt a bit like our son, as we dipped our toes in the vast unknowns of living as a family on mission and now as we are preparing to move 8,000 miles away from everything we’ve ever known.

Fear has tried to come in with its lies to steal, paralyze, and poison the vision Father God is etching in our hearts, but we’ve already put our toes in the water. We aren’t promised that we’ll never be afraid. We’re promised a Comforter to help us to “do it afraid” and ultimately conquer the fear. We’ve come face to face with the deep satisfaction that only comes from laying our worries aside and pursuing the adventure set before us.

We’re still human so sometimes we’re doing it afraid, but we’re doing it.

We’ve been chatting today about recent conversations with family and friends and, based on some of the questions we’ve been asked, we realize that we’ve not done a good job updating everyone as we’re preparing to move. So we decided to do a post of Morrisons on Mission FAQs. Feel free to ask anything we missed in the comments…

Will we be able to communicate with you after you get to Uganda?
Yes! We’ll have cellphone and internet service. We currently live in the boonies here in the states and have terrible internet service, so we’ll actually have better service in Uganda. 

How can we get updates on the kids and the ministry?
First off, we realize everyone loves our kids more than they love us, and that’s ok! 🙂 We will post lots of pictures and short updates on Facebook and use the Morrisons on Mission blog for our long-winded updates or thoughts.

When is your departure date?
Short answer… we don’t know! We have made a commitment to not leave for Uganda until we reach $4,500 in recurring monthly support. We currently still need $2,500 in recurring monthly support. 

Have you done any kind of missionary training?
Absolutely and we’re going to do some more! We are excited to be attending The Center for Intercultural Training missionary training in North Carolina in late May and early June. The training wraps up on June 15th, and we hope to depart for Uganda shortly after.

What are you going to do with your house?
We listed our house for sale a week and half ago and received a full price offer within 6 hours of listing. 

Has Jared quit his job already?
Jared has worked for an amazing company for the last 10 years and has gained great favor with his bosses and company owners. They are 100% supportive of our move and are allowing Jared to work up until April 6th to help us make a smoother transition. 

If you close on your house on March 30th, and you aren’t leaving until sometime in the summer, where will you stay in the meantime?
Good question! Anyone have a spare bedroom we can camp out in? Just kidding. Yes, we will technically be homeless for a while, but between our amazing and supportive family and the time we’ll be at missionary training, we’ll have a place to lay our heads down.

I don’t have the means to write a big donation check, so how can I help you?
Pray! Then pray some more! We need as much prayer covering as we can get. However, we also need monthly support. We don’t need big, one-time donation checks as much as we need 100-150 family members, friends, and fans of our kids 🙂 to commit to giving as little as $10-20 per month. We would rather have an army of folks who love and support us by praying and giving a little each month than just a few big monthly donors. Every little bit helps, and is GREATLY APPRECIATED!

I want to support you monthly, but don’t know when to start giving?
Even though we aren’t in Uganda yet, you can start your recurring donation now! We are saving up for several large one-time expenses that will come up as we move, plus we need to be a month ahead on our support when we arrive in Uganda. All of our support is being handled  through Forgotten Children Worldwide and will be held securely until needed and carefully accounted for when distributed to us in the field. 

What will you be doing when you get to Uganda?
This is by far the most frequently asked question! Here’s the short answer. Jared will be working with Forgotten Children Worldwide to oversee FCW’s mission primarily in Uganda, but also in Malawi and Zimbabwe, to safeguard vulnerable children and orphans. He will also be heading up an exciting new project that we can’t share all the details about just yet, but promise it’s going to be awesome! (Stay tuned!) Kimberly will be working part time with Karamojong United Family to help them support Karamojong children and families by sharing the Gospel, supporting education, resettlement, and health initiatives.

What will the kids do?
Our children will homeschool initially. We will have a homeschool helper to help make things easier on Kimberly and the kids at home. We will also get to take them on lots of fun adventures all over Uganda. They couldn’t be more excited!

Are there any other things you need for the move?
A couple of things we need that some folks may have laying around are essential oils and homeschool materials. We’ll gladly take any extra oils, and need 1st, 2nd and 5th grade homeschool materials for next school year. 

Thanks for all the love and support.

~Jared and Kimberly

Road trip adventures with him are my favorite.